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Mooncat
Senior Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 1833
Location: Wales-UK
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 Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:03 pm Post subject: Why women are crabby, from Mrs M |
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We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had callouses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs, or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time, which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils, (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over the WC. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us, steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall, and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the Medical Room.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the Midwife/Registrar says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear_me_roar . Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push' (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square on the nose for making us cram a wriggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings had morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poo machines.
Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause', the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either, take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds', or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a horse in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily, and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby You still think women are the 'weaker sex'?
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Bludall
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 8784
Location: East Midlands
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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Mrs M,
 So true on several counts.
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Foggy
Senior Member
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 1250
Location: Lincoln
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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"and bite the head off anything that moves. "
Can relate to that 
whats the crack with Ebay underwear advertised on this page 
you selling on the side Chez 
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Button will win F1 championship 2009
(might not be with Honda though) |
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Bludall
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 8784
Location: East Midlands
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:17 pm Post subject: |
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I just looked at the advertising at the top of the page! 
There is
Pee...always having to pee?
Boys wearing hgh heels
Female urinals
Discover How to Become the New Stella or Kate. Only with Tampax!
Google is so out of place at times.
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AuntiePink
Senior Member
Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 147
Location: London/Essex
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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I miss out on so much having a good adblocker
| Quote: |
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. |
Oh yes. Mother nature's most rotten trick! 
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Tina
If I can't fix it with a hammer it's an electrical fault. |
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Bludall
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 8784
Location: East Midlands
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:12 am Post subject: |
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AP,
That is the killer!
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Steve the Gas
Senior Member
Joined: 30 May 2008
Posts: 799
Location: Notts/Derbys
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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Note to self- try and make out that you haven't peaked yet 
Nah  |
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thescruff
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Posts: 5713
Location: Bath
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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50 tomorrow you're beyond hope Steve 
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Scruff |
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Bludall
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 8784
Location: East Midlands
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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If women peak, early 40's and men at 18 does that mean we should be looking for toy boys then? Acne never did it for me, how about you AP?
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Foggy
Senior Member
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 1250
Location: Lincoln
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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Im early 40`s going on 18 
_________________
Button will win F1 championship 2009
(might not be with Honda though) |
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Bludall
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 8784
Location: East Midlands
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
Do a good deed every day and put a smile on someone's face! |
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Mooncat
Senior Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 1833
Location: Wales-UK
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Experience so far suggests that women's libido peaks before the 40s, and goes downhill fast after 50. Mine at 18 was dormant, as far as real live women were concerned, and I'm as keener than ever now. But I'm too old for women. 
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I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.
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Gadget
Jack Of All Trades
Joined: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 3558
Location: Whitley Bay
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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Women are sexier between the ages of 40 and 60!
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By eck! |
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AuntiePink
Senior Member
Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 147
Location: London/Essex
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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That makes me feel better about being 39, gadget!
Blu, toy-boys not my thing at all. When I was internet dating I was inundated with messages from young lads! I used to say sorry, I have 3 kids and don't want any more!
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Tina
If I can't fix it with a hammer it's an electrical fault. |
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Hoovie
Devon DIYer
Joined: 27 Jul 2007
Posts: 8040
Location: East Devon
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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Just noticed the subject of the ads on the top of the page ....
Pee
Always having to pee? Frequent peeing is a sign of...
Healthline.com
New Tampax Skirt
Discover How to Become the New Stella or Kate. Only with Tampax!
www.BeingGirl.co.uk/TampaxSkirt
Boys Wearing High Heels
Thinking of buying? Compare 100s of retailers' prices at Shopping.com
uk.shopping.com
Portable female urinals
Low prices from 50p! Fast discreet delivery. Big range
www.youreableshop.co.uk
Hmmmm .... thought this was a DIY site 
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. |
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