A UHM member has inspired me to write this note on how to profoundly irritate everyone and your partner in particular.

When your OH asks you to boil the kettle you should respond as follows:

You can't boil a kettle: kettles don't boil. You mean I should boil the water in it. But don't think of saying "Fill the kettle with water and boil it" because that's ambiguous. "it" could mean the kettle or the water in it. You should say "Partly fill the kettle with water and heat it until the water in it boils".

Now to boil an egg...

Who do you think inspired this rubbish?

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I should be dead; I've cheated the Grim Reaper yet again by surviving my third heart attack in June.

Talking of boiling water

Why does the kettle/water go quite just before it boils

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Because the bubbles created by the heating process are rising in big dollops rather than thousands of tiny ones, thus making quieter!..Or so I'm told!...

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By eck! ©

I think that if I tried that approach I would end up with a thick ear

After 37 years of married life means I know how to survive!!

Yes Dear

John

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Growing old is compulsory, growing up is not!