New device to keep J.Ws from pestering you.

Company guarantee it for up to 20 years:

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You can always tell a Yorkshireman,
But you cannot tell him much.

Wonder if one would keep the stinking cats out of my garden.

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I find wearing horns and dribbling blood works for me...



If that fails answer the door naked

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Verwood Handyman
I Know it says I'm On-line, but I might have just left myself logged in, whilst I'm out....

Scruff, did a TV commercial once with a couple of alligators who wee'd on the set. Once it was shot, came to strike the set, had my dog with me and she wondered very warily round the set, she could smell the alligators! So, alligators wee, if you can get some would surely keep those pesky cats out of your garden, just might be a little difficult catching the wee, on the Call Sheet, the RA had 'Risk of Death' , I kept well away from them!

SSM

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Measure twice, cut once!

Lol, just say your a blood doner, it works for me every time

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I would rather want something I dont have, that have something I dont want

If that fails answer the door naked[/quote]


Holding a meat cleaver!..

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By eck! ©

The sure-fire word is "disfellowshipped" Just say "I'm disfellowshipped" and they will leave as if you had the plague.

Disfellowshipping is the Jehovah's Witnesses most important control mechanism. It allows the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society to control its members with guilt and fear.

The Watchtower Society makes a lot of rules, based on their interpretations of various scriptures, that all Jehovah's Witnesses must follow. Members are taught that that they must turn each other in for any rule violations. If they observe another Jehovah's Witness breaking a rule and do not report him or her to the elders they are as guilty as the offending party. Anyone breaking any of the Watchtower Society rules is called before 3 elders in a private meeting that is conducted like a trial. The elders become judge and jury deciding whose is repentant and who is not.

Members who are found to be unrepentant of violations of Watchtower rules by these elders, are disfellowshipped. Jehovah’s Witnesses can be disfellowshipped for a number of rule violations: premarital or extramarital sex, using alcohol excessively, using tobacco products, celebrating Christmas, reciting the pledge of allegiance, lying, stealing, joining the military, speaking to a disfellowshipped Witness, reading religious material not published by the governing body, or running for political office just to name a few. Fellow members are then required to shun him/her completely, having no contact even if the disfellowshipped person is a family member. (Some allowances are made if the family member is living in the same household). Disfellowshipping has a devastating effect because the individual's entire religious, family and social life are rooted in the Society. Keep in mind Jehovah’s Witnesses who are disfellowshipped are no longer part of the Watchtower Society and have, therefore, lost all hope of salvation until they can prove themselves worthy of being accepted back into the Watchtower Organization by their works. Elders in the congregation are the ones who decide when an individual has earned the right to come back into the fold, and the Watchtower Organization instructs elders that it would be very rare for one to earn their way back in less than a year. In order to earn their way back they must attend meetings regularly, sit in the back of the church -Kingdom Hall- while everyone in the congregation ignores them, if anyone did dare to speak to them they could be disfellowshipped themselves. They must do this with the knowledge that if Armageddon should come before they have earned their way back they will be destroyed. Sad to say Disfellowshipping has resulted in suicide. Those who leave on their own are treated just as a disfellowshipped one. Once you join their group there is no easy way out.

Nice people eh?

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I should be dead; I've cheated the Grim Reaper yet again by surviving my third heart attack in June.

We have them here too but they are very sneaky . They send really beautiful looking girls to your door the first time and when you say yes to them the next time they come they are old and wrinkly looking characters

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John in Belgrave

Thats the parents looking for their Daughters John.

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Thanks for all the background on being 'disfellowshipped' Stods but I think I will stick to the tried and tested ferk-off/slam door routine

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They do the same here, John!

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By eck! ©

A few years ago when i was living on a farm i had a long driveway . The one winter the snow was about 6 ft high at the end of my driveway . In order to get to the house people had to climb over the snow bank .
I knew my cousin was coming over the one day so i went out and dug a deep hole in the snow bank down about 4 ft then put a piece of Styrofoam over the hole and then a thin layer of snow . I thought it would be good for a laugh to watch him fall in . What i didn't expect that day was JWs coming there first . Two guys walked up the snow bank and poof they disappeared . They never did come back after that .

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John in Belgrave