A surprisingly informative article for the Daily Fail!

I think I must be on borrowed time - I dismantled two old style asbestos-ridden storage heaters with my bare hands and no mask, the week before the dangers (of dismantling anything containing asbestos fibres) hit the headlines back in the early 80s. 30 years on...am I a human timebomb?

But I'll definitely be getting one of those masks - thanks, Puma.

Bizarrely, on the three occasions I've been pregnant, it was an intense aversion (to the point of retching) to the smell of solvent-based paint which alerted me to the fact - I didn't really need to do the preg. test.

Spooky. I guess your kids ain't gonna be painters then?

Chance would be fine thing!

One is actually a fine artist (in the sense that she can paint and draw very well) but has already informed me that when she buys her first house next year, I will be decorating it, because it's too... well, boring for her...she tried it once (emulsioned one wall) and didn't like it. Very low boredom threshold, the youth of today.

The second one might be (in order) an investment *anker, a teacher or a non-flying role in the RAF, but if all else fails he's informed me that he will be my apprentice and I can teach him all he needs to know (like how to get up at 7 am?).

The youngest one - no chance! He is so unconnected with the material world that he cannot see the point of decorating, let alone wanting to know how to do it. The builders doing the loft conversion in our student rental property saw him attempting half-heartedly to assemble some flat-pack IKEA bookcases (electric screwdriver drilling away futilely in one hand, but his attention divided between the sports news and his mobile phone) and assumed he was mentally impaired.

I think the passion for decorating is going to have to skip a generation,as it did with my parents...they hated it. That's why I got so much practice in my youth!