This was compiled by Yorkshire GPs. I like "I've got fishdocks" for "I have an odiferous vaginal discharge" and "My husband/partner is good to me" meaning "My husband/partner doesn’t expect sex"

Abdominal pain Belly ache
Abdominal pain Gut rot
Abdominal pain Tummy ache
Abdominal pain Gripes
An unspecific chronic pain Well, it’s a noggling pain
Anus Number 3
Anus Ring
Breasts Boobies
Breasts Boobs
Breasts Mammaries
Breasts Melons
Breasts Tits
Condom Johnny
Constipated Bunged up
Cough Barking
Cough Peffin
Dead Popped his clogs
Depressed In the dumps
Diarrhoea Squits
Diarrhoea Squitters
Diarrhoea The runs
Diarrhoea The poo
Don’t go there Don’t talk about the war
Ears Lug holes/lug oils
Ears Tabs
Eyes Mince pies
Face Clock
Face Fisog
Faeces Bowel action
Faeces Crap
Faeces Dump
Faeces Jobby
Faeces Poo
Faeces sh*t
Feeling very well Champion
Feeling ill Badly
Feeling ill Poorly
Feet Trotters
Female Bird
Genitalia Bits
Genitalia Privates
Genitalia Problems down below
Glasses Bins
Good looking/pretty Cracking
Goto Gutter
Hands Mitts
Head Noggin
Hello Ay up
Hit Smack
Husband Ol’ man
I am menstruating Got me friend
I am menstruating I’ve got a visitor
I am menstruating Rotherham are at home
I have an odiferous vaginal discharge I’ve got fishdocks
Infected Manky
Intercourse Bonking
Intercourse Shagging
Its my vagina Its mi snatch
Lethargic Feel jiggered
Little finger Pinky
Menstruating Barnsley’s at home
Menstruating I am on
Menstruating On my Honda
Menstruating Time of the month
Menstruating or discharge Had a show
Moaning person Maungy
Mouth Gob
Mouth Gob oil
My husband/partner doesn’t expect sex My husband/partner is good to me
Nasal discharge Boggles
Nasal discharge Snot
Nipples Nips
Nose Sneck
Nose Snoz
Not very good Crap
Oesophagus Gullet
Off colour/funny Feeling queer
Old person Codger
Old person Old fogie
Penis Chip
Penis d*ck
Penis Doofer
Penis Old man
Penis Percy
Penis Sparrow
Penis Tail
Penis Thingy
Penis Todger
Penis Tool
Penis Uncle Sam
Penis Widgy
Penis Willy
Penis Winkle
Producing sputum Slavering
Saliva Goz
Saliva Spit
Sick note Club note
Small amount Smidge
Small amount Tad
Sputum Phlegm
Testicles Balls
Testicles b*llocks
Testicles Goolies
Testicles Nuts
Testicles Tackle
The baby is crying Toot babby is roaring
Toes Piggys
Toes Tootsies
Trachea Wind pipe
Umbilicus Belly button
Urethra Number 1
Urinate Pee
Urine p*ss
Urine Water
Urine Wee-wee
Vagina Fanny
Vagina Floo
Vagina Fluzie
Vagina Front bottom
Vagina Number 2
Vagina Sixpence
Vagina/Vulva Tuppence
Vasectomy Snip
Vomit Puke
Vomiting Chuck up
Vomiting Gipping
Vomiting Head in the toilet
Vomiting Throwing up
Vulva Clacker
Weak/general malaise Feel Whammy
What Eh
Whinging Mardy
Wife/Partner Her indoors
Wife/partner Our lass

_________________
I should be dead; I've cheated the Grim Reaper yet again by surviving my third heart attack in June.